


Forever yours, Louis

by alexpond



Series: Stuff I wrote in 2013-2014 [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Established Relationship, I'm Sorry, M/M, Sad Ending, Surgery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 04:52:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8358037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexpond/pseuds/alexpond
Summary: Harry wakes up from his surgery, only to find that Louis isn't there when he opens his eyes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR THe cliché but I just had to do this.
> 
> Written in May 2014

There's a very bright light shining upon me. I think my eyes are closed but I'm not too sure, everything seems kind of hazy right now. Does this mean that the surgery failed and I'm dead?

_Beep beep beep beep beep_

That doesn't sound like heaven to me. My mind starts to register more things that surround me and I realize that I'm currently laying down, and I'm definitely attached to something that beeps. I try to open my eyes but the light is too bright and I frown.

"He's waking up! Harry, darling, it's mum. Open your eyes sweetums, you're okay. You're in the hospital now and the surgery went well."

I try to speak but my throat is too dry. She seems to understand and suddenly someone is lifting me up and bringing a cup to my lips.

"Drink up, it's water. You should be able to speak after this."

The water trickled down my throat and I started to feel better already. I slowly blinked my eyes open and was met with my mother's eyes, filled with emotion. I saw happiness, relief, but also pain and worry in them. I hope everything is okay.

"Is everything okay? Where's everyone else? Where's Louis?"

Her smile faltered when I mentioned Louis' name but she quickly shook it off.

"Everyone else will be here as soon as I tell them that you're awake. Now, love, I think you should rest. It's been a long day for you. It's not every day you get a heart transplant, right?"

There were tears in her eyes but she blinked them away. She didn't sound very convincing but I let it slip. I was just so tired and what I wanted was a good, long nap, preferably with Louis by my side.

"Okay, love you, mum, I'll see you soon. Could you please ask Louis to come here as soon as possible?"

Just mentioning his name brought a smile upon my lips. Louis was my boyfriend of seven years. We got together when I was 16 and he was 18 and he is the best thing in my life. My love for him is not something you can easily explain, I would do absolutely anything for him and he would do the same for me. Now all I want is for him to be here by my side like he has been in all the stages of my condition. I was born with a weak heart and it got worse when I got older. Louis stood by me and at times, it was rough, but we made it through everything, together. He is my rock, the one I can rely on, no matter what happens.

"I'll see you soon, love. I love you too."

She left the room with a sad smile and I closed my eyes and dozed off to sleep. I dreamt of Louis' blue eyes and his smile whenever he was with me. I dreamt of our life together, living in a small flat with just enough room for both of us. I dreamt of our future, with kids running around, playing with our cats as we sat happily on the sofa. I dreamt of growing old with him, sitting next to each other in rocking chairs as we watched our grandchildren run around the backyard of our home.

I woke up with a smile on my face, and my loved ones around me. There was my family, of course, and my best friends. Gemma was the first one to attack me with a hug.

"You little turd, I was so afraid for you. Please tell me you're feeling better?"

She pulled away so I could breathe and looked me in the eye. I tried to speak but my throat had dried up again, so I tried to flail my arms around so someone would realize what I meant. Liam was the first one to notice so he gently lifted me up and helped me drink. When I felt like I could speak again, I tried but failed. A sob escaped my throat, preventing me from speaking. Suddenly there were at least three pairs of arms around me and I felt so loved. I was just so happy to be alive and have all my loved ones here with me and- wait.

"Where's Louis?"

I didn't like the way my voice came out but it was too late to take it back. Everyone shared knowing, sad looks, which made me mad. Why weren't they saying anything?

"Mum, where is he?"

She let out a sob and kneeled beside me, looking very apologetic. Taking my hand, she looked me dead in the eye.

"Honey, there is something you need to know. I would tell you myself but I was asked to give this to you instead. Just, take it, read it, and immediately call for me when you're ready, okay?"

She handed me a letter and I gave her a puzzled look. I was confused but I nodded anyway. They all left the room, leaving me alone with the letter in my hand. I ripped it open and recognized the familiar handwriting.

_Dear Harry_

_First of all, I want you to know that I love you. I've probably loved you long before we even got together when we were still young, stupid teenagers with no clue of the future._

_I  don't think I ever told you this, but I was going to off myself on October 5th, 2010. Yes, that was the plan until you came up to me and asked me out in that shitty little cafe just outside town. I decided to give you a chance because I really didn't want to die, I just wanted to stop feeling alone. You saved me that day, and I'd like to thank you for that._

_Six weeks later, when you asked me to be your boyfriend, I was still battling depression. You gave me the push I needed, the push towards healing. On that day I decided that I was going to get better, not only for you but for me._

_You taught me so many important things I had no idea of. You taught me how to cook, clean, and juggle. You also taught me to love and understand, which are some of the most important things a person can do. You were my sun, my guiding star who helped me navigate my way through life._

_When you told me about your heart condition, I was devastated. I didn't want to believe it at all at first. How could someone so strong, so caring and loving have a weak heart? Eventually, I accepted it and started to search for help, so you could get better and we could have a great future. I went to the doctor's one day, and he said that the only thing that could help you was a heart transplant. He also told that the line was long and you would have had to wait for two years for a heart. Two years, Haz. You wouldn't have made it, I know, the doctor told me. So, when the heart transplant queue was not an option, he said that you needed someone to donate their heart to you, directly. I thought and thought until it finally just popped into my head. I went to the tests and apparently we are compatible in more ways than we thought. The tests said that I was a suitable donor and really, what else could've I done? I signed a ton of papers, organized everything and went to meet my family for the last time. They were devastated, of course, but they know me and they understood that I couldn't have lived if you had died. After a heartbreaking goodbye, I came back home, to you, and kissed you with everything I had._

_I remember your face when they called you from the hospital that they'd found a donor for you. You were so excited. Your eyes lit up and shone like a thousand suns burning with a never-ending flame. You hugged me, and with happy tears streaming down your face, kissed me with so much passion. I, of course, kissed you back, but I was also sad. Though I knew I was going to save your life, I knew for certain that you wouldn't take it lightly. That's why I didn't tell you, and that is why you're reading this letter right now instead._

_When the day of the surgery came, I was scared shitless. What if either of us had complications and the surgery would fail? What if my heart wasn't actually suitable for you? All of these what if's played inside my head over and over, but I kept my cool when I was beside you. My last words to you were 'I love you', in case you didn't remember from all the drugs that were running through your veins at the time. You told me you loved me back, and you always would, and then they took you away. I was called to a room, too, and they prepared me for the surgery as well. Now, with my last powers, before I fall asleep, never to wake up again, I'm writing you this._

_I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before. I'm sorry for all the fights we had. I'm sorry for not always being there for you. I'm sorry for not being able to have kids with you. I'm sorry for not being able to see you grow old and do it with you._

_I'm not sorry for giving my heart to you, though. It was yours to begin with and from now on, my heart will only beat for you. Literally._

_I love you._

_Forever yours, Louis_

**Author's Note:**

> what's up I'm crying
> 
> Also just stating the obvious that I don't actually know how heart transplant surgeries work so sorry if you're a professional and the inaccuracies ruined your mood


End file.
